Illogic: Clayfighter Unanimously voted 1993 GOTY at RetroLogic
llogic is a video game parody series written by our very own Mike Mordenga, the host of FilmLogic. Any resemblance to actual events, locales persons, living or dead, real or fictional, retro or modern, is entirely coincidental.
Discord- Every year the hosts of RetroLogic gather together to discuss which 30-year old game deserves the award Game of the Year. In past years, hosts struggled to come up with a united opinion, inciting arguments and fights. But this year Clayfighter is on the poll and the vote is unanimous. Clayfighters is the best game to come out of 1993.
The director of RetroLogic, Dan, gathered the hosts into a tiny executive room and mentioned all the contenders for game of the year. No sooner did he cross the game Clayfighters did every hand in the board room shoot up. Everyone cheered in unison, “That is the game of the year!” Just to make sure the vote was fair Dan asked again.
“Are you sure? We have Doom, Zelda: Link’s Awakening, and Star Fox.”
The hosts would not listen as the obvious answer was Interplay’s Clayfighters.
Tears welled up in Dan’s eyes, “I could not be prouder of this community. I have always been saying that Bad Mister Frosty is the most influential video game character in history.”
Fellow co-host, John, lifted his shirt to reveal a tattoo of Clayfighter combatant Helga on his chest. “I have waited a long time for this day.”
The RetroGroove hosts announced that they will do a 7 part series on the music of Interplay’s masterpiece.
The FilmLogic hosts announced that they are crowdfunding a movie based on Clayfighters where Chris Pratt would play The Blob. The project is 80% funded.
Sam, the game historian, started writing a book about the game’s amazing history. “Games like Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat were openly inspired by Clayfighters and they can owe their fame to this cornerstone of a game.”
When the decision was posted to the RetroLogic Discord, the community exploded with cheers and agreement. Dan released an online poll asking fans if they were willing to sell their entire game library for just one play of Clayfighters. The poll was 100% in the affirmative. One fan admitted that he sold his entire Famicon library just for a used loose copy of the game.
Most game historians agree that Clayfighters is the game that kept Blockbuster Video in business for so long (that is why they commissioned two exclusive games). Clayfighters’ iconic gameplay is the blueprint for all 2D fighting games and its gorgeous claymation graphics is what inspired Shaun the Sheep and Wallace and Gromit. It seems long overdue for this game to be honored for all it has done.
Mike Mordenga, host of FilmLogic, has published his first novel. A thriller about fitness vampires terrorizing crimefighters with tortuous diets. You can check it out here: https://amzn.to/3R2lw6Y
